This is a test, this is only a test…..
If this were real adversity things would be much worse and you would not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok Ok, I had to throw some humor into my day. Perhaps I am the only one that remembers those commercials from the 80’s. It was before the cold war ended, before the Berlin wall came down. I didn’t really know much about these things so I looked it up, and you can read the information here. It was on the American channels of course, but I remember watching TV and having shows interrupted with this annoying beep and some instructions about how instructions would follow in an actual emergency.
Well I am feeling very “tested” these days, if we want to go into church lingo.
Things don’t seem to be going very well. It’s amazing how quickly things can change.
I’ve been trying to learn to be a better person, I want to learn how to be a very good officer. My officers have been pretty good at helping out with that too. What has really blown me away this week though is some of the stuff my officer said to me this week in our meeting about my development. I know that there are things I need to work on before I go into college, but some of the things she came up with were like, I don’t know, it’s like they are looking for things to say that I am doing wrong.
I am a big girl, I do somewhat ok taking criticism (depending on the source). Most of my friends will tell you that I am pretty upfront and honest and accepting of my weaknesses, of course there is stuff that no one likes to hear and yeah my initial reaction is always to get mad, but usually after a couple of hours or days I can see the point in what someone has said. Not in this case though.
Some of the stuff that was said was true, and I can handle it. Some was so off base though, it has left me reeling. I need to just build a bridge and get over it, but I am so mad…so mad.
That’s why I feel like I have been tested. I need to act in a way that is professional and God-honoring, because if I don’t that shows to me that I can not handle the adversity that will come my way as an officer. When I become an officer there is definitely going to be criticism, that is a lot of the time probably going to be just, but sometimes, it will be totally off-base. How I react will be indicative of my relationship with God, and his love. So yeah, even though it was way off base, and even though I am mad…this is a way to grow and learn, so that I can be a good officer when the time comes.
So here’s to building bridges. Everyday is new, and provides new opportunities for growth.
April 29, 2008 at 11:19 am
You can’t possibly be all that you can be before CFOT. I can attest first hand, that the person I came in as is far from who I am now. Not that I have changed personally (like my personality, etc) but in terms of my confidence, my gifts, my way of handling things, etc.
You go to CFOT to become equipped, not because you are equipped (well, a little bit equipped but not completely….we will never be completely anyway, will we?)
Anyway, I am glad this hasn’t shaken you to the core beyond functioning. Continue to grow - I am encouraged by you, Jackie!
April 30, 2008 at 8:36 am
As hard as things may seem, always trust in God. Even in the bad times he’s there and it is the bad times that bring us closer to him.
Worry only that you are right with God and if his plan includes becoming an officer, then you will.
No one person, officer or otherwise can compete with God and the working of his plan in your life. You have come a long way and I am extremely proud of you and feel that much closer to you.
I know you probably get sick of hearing me say it (especially when I’m struggling myself) but pray, rely on God. Seriously, what else is there? We need to do our best to give up control and come before God with everything. Remember to keep your eye on the prize.